WAR

Ants...ooooooooh ants.

Did you know that When body size is taken into account, ants are the strongest creatures alive- If an ant was the size of a human it would be able to carry Saturn on its back.

Did you know that Ants are thought to be the only animal capable of telepathic communication. Telepathic communications are sent by pointing both antennae at another ant.

Did you know that Just like scientists have calculated that bees shouldn't be able to fly, scientists have calculated that ants shouldn't be able to jump. Besides spiders and bees, ants are the only bugs to defy science.

And my personal favorite... Ants. Don't. Sleep.

And why should they sleep when there is so much satisfaction to be gained from invading my home by day and my dreams by night. On sunday, after cleaning the swarm of ants that decided to take refuge from the heat in our bedroom, i went to sleep and drempt the oddest dream. We finally gave up on our two week war with these four legged fiends and called corkeys pest control, they came decked out in suits of armor with swords and everything. truly a sight to behold. and the one in charge walked right up to me and asked how i wanted the little devils massacred...i kid you not, my reply was "As painfully as possible please, make them suffer as much as possible but let one go after it has been sufficiently tortured so it can crawl back to its little ant hill and TEACH THEM ALL A LESSON!"

i think i'm going crazy.

So, as my vaccum fills with the carcasses of ants past, my bottle of raid runs on empty and the sound of nicks complaints at the ever present smell of vinegar in our home fades into the distance...it's time to work up the courage to walk into the kitchen, triumph over whatever battle awaits me there and finally eat breakfast.